Applied Integration Marriage-Overcoming Anger
Anger has killed billions of people and hurt everyone.
It has devastated families and nations.
Anger is one of the emotions that has had the most impact on people surrounding the anger. It is an emotion that must be controlled, or it will continue to hurt the one feeling the anger and many other people.
It is important to realize that handling anger does not mean to contain it inside. This action will result in some much anger festering inside that the pressure from it will cause it to explode and the one feeling the anger to lash out even more violently at others.
Learning how to handle anger is much better for the health. Bottling up the anger can also lead to depression, heart disease, high blood pressure, and many other poor health conditions.
There are many ways to express anger poorly. These ways may include irritability, isolation, impatience, resentment and withdrawal.
Other physical conditions of one who is angry a majority of the time may develop migraines, neck, head and shoulder problems as well as arthritis.
Unresolved anger could also lead to eating problems and disorders.
The first step to learning to control anger, is to learn how to and practice walking away from a situation that is making you angry. You should talk to the person who is making you angry, but not until you are under control.
By walking away, it gives you an opportunity to evaluate the situation and decide on the best way to handle yourself and the problem when talking to the person. You can also decide whether the problem was really a problem by deciding whether the issue will matter tomorrow.
If it helps, you can write down how you plan to take action and rehearse it. This will help you stick to the plan if begin to feel angry when talking to the person again.
When feeling intense anger, breathing deeply can help you to relax and control the situation. Be sure to breath all the way into the bottom of your stomach, or the diaphragm.
Breathing deeply helps you to connect with the anger and control it. Breathing sharply will intensify the anger.
In your evaluation of the situation, think about how you will communicate the problem to the person. They may not be aware or understand why it is a problem.
It is important to establish good communication to resolve an argument. Communication takes two involved people trying to come to an agreement.
It takes two to tango, and it take two to communicate.
The first and most important step to improving the quality of communication is to listen.
By listening, you will know how the other person is feeling and be able to best frame your opinion in a way that they will understand. The entire argument could simply be a misunderstanding and by listening the argument may be resolved.
After listening, you will have an opportunity to speak. Be sure to use “I” statements instead of “you.”
People automatically become defensive when they hear “you” begin a sentence because they think they are being accused.
After resolving the argument, ask for forgiveness.
This will help you to move past the anger and not dwell on it or hold a grudge.
Now, that you are out of the intense anger situation focus your mind on how to transfer the energy you feel when you are angry into a positive activity. This takes a lot of practice.
For example, some people will take a walk when angry.
Walking is good for the health and a good way to expend the angry energy.
Other people may pamper themselves by visiting the hairdresser or spa. Others will work on a creative project, such as painting.
The feeling of accomplishment can help to finalize the dissipation of the anger that you previously felt. Remember, anger is simply an emotion and not who you are.
You can be in control and change the anger that you feel. It is a very natural emotion, and everyone gets angry sometimes.
About the author
Jack R. Landry has worked as a marriage counselor since the 80s. He has been married to his wife, Judy, for the past 33 years but he recognizes that everyone needs help to save your marriage. Contact Info: Jack R. Landry JackRLandry@gmail.com http://www.survive-divorce.comDistributed by Content Crooner
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