And I’m guessing that as you read this, something comes to mind that has caused you disappointment, sadness or frustration over recent times — something that you wished hadn’t happened but had no, or little, control over or something that disrupted the flow of your life. Of course, the problem isn’t that life’s interruptions are throwing us off our game, derailing our plans and dashing our hopes; it is that we expect anything otherwise. Problems are never the problem; rather it’s our perspective that brings us all the grief.

What I’ve come to learn over the years is that life is too unpredictable, too complex, too fragile and far too uncontrollable to ever expect that we can have things all unfold the way we would like them to. Life just doesn’t work like that. As the saying goes, “Life is what happens while you are making other plans.”

It is when life does not unfold as we want that we face the profound choice of how we will respond to life’s interruptions and face our new reality. Just as I could have cursed the snow that kept my kids home from school for what felt like weeks on end (though it was only ten days), so too we can curse the gods that brought illness and disappointment, suffering and sorrow, hardship and tragedy, into our lives. Or we can throw our arms out wide to the experience; we can look for the meaning, receive the lesson and accept the challenge to grow in our capacity for life that they bring and just live life to the fullest.

The English poet, Samuel Johnson, wrote, “Men are wise in proportion not to their experience but to their capacity for experience.” Who knows why bad things happen to good people, why some people seem to be faced with so much more suffering and misfortune than others, why opportunity and prosperity fall into the laps of some yet elude the diligent efforts of others. I certainly don’t.

What I do know though is that each of us are here to live life to its fullest, to come to know our capacity for all of life — its excitement and disappointment, its joy and its rawness, its love and its loss — and, in doing so, to touch the lives of those around us by the grace and courage in which we live our own. It all comes down to the day-by-day, hour-by-hour and often even moment-by-moment choices you make that determine your success (however you choose to define it).

It’s taken me many years to realize that there is no point arguing with reality, that everything — however random or unwanted — happens for a reason and that if life were perfect, it wouldn’t be. After all, mastery of life is not the absence of disruptions or problems; it is mastery of them.

Wherever this finds you right now, whatever interruptions threaten to disrupt the normal (if there is a “normal”) flow of your life, I encourage you to invite them in with grace, with self-trust and with a spirit of curiosity for the gifts they hold. It is those interruptions — unwanted, inconvenient and uncomfortable as they may be — that ultimately expands your capacity for life and enrich your experience of it the most. So back to the question posed in the title of this article – are you making the most of the interruptions to your life?

About the author

In some manner he managed to cross over the Sacramento River by means of the slippery hazardous railway bridge. All the way through the wind and rain he manages a foolhardy task of traversing over the river upon just the actual slick railway ties. Incredibly he does not slip on the wet ties and fall into the river or uglier yet become wedged in between the railway ties.

As soon as he reaches the actual other side of the river on the railway bridge he slips,trips and crumbles in the center of the train tracks. He is actually at this moment way too inebriated and far too exhausted to get up.

As a influx of depression washed over him he curled up and then laid his head upon the track. Using the rail for a pillow he drifts down to deep sleep.

He is actually entirely oblivious to the hazard of the Amtrak Commuter Express, which usually is scheduled to depart downtown Sacramento within the next 2 hours, making its standard early morning journey to the San Francisco Bay area.

About 2 o clock in the early morning one more miracle transpired…

In the spring of 1989 I was able to graduate from Nursing School. For the next 16 years I devoted myself to the study of holistic healing.

Around 2005 I began to compile an array of medical information that stretches back in time more than 2,000 years.

Oddly enough The Cure involves the Mlm industry!

I have also understood just lately that the actual most helpful approach to assist as many men and women as feasible is to connect with, network, and discover how
different individuals think and feel.

I hope my personal tale is going to help encourage you to find a few good choices to life and economic success. Due to the fact I began doing business from home, being my own boss, I have discovered a new me and have been able to have more joy, love and happiness in my personal life.

Consequently here is a tiny touch more about me ahead of when I identified the actual Cure:

I grew up in Nampa, Idaho within a very poor family with 3 sisters and also just one brother. My father worked extremely hard for the Union Pacific Railroad for 44 years but seldom made enough income to keep us all in comfortable shoes and clothing. I began working in the sugar beet fields along with the migrant individuals from Mexico at the age of 6 to help out the household. I shortly realized that if I was to ever get out of the raw field labor and poverty – I had to obtain an education.

I managed to obtain a football scholarship grant to college however following an injury and private difficulties I quit college. I had continuously thought of becoming a Millionaire! After I left college my dream path changed when I move to Oregon and began to work as a short order cook..

I moved to Houston, Texas after my wife got pregnant and started my first enterprise as a janitor. I started out with cleaning office buildings and washing windows and just when being successful was within my grip I fell into the pitfall of alcoholism.

My fight with alcohol lasted 10 years and nearly grabbed my life many instances. I eventually ended up living on the back alleys of Sacramento, California.

My situation was so grave that I came to be under the Adult Protection Services and had been hospitalized several times for suicide behavior and deep depression. Pretty much everyone had given up on me as a hopeless cause and was just waiting for me to kick the bucket, go to prison or be institutionalize in a mental hospital.

Right after going through a multitude of alcohol detox facilities and half-way homes I managed to get some healing for dependency on alcohol and was able to go through nursing school and become a registered nurse in 1989.

Yet through all my years of nursing I yearned to be free to help many other individuals as well as generate an excellent living. I wanted to pursue my ambitions! Consequently for many years now, I have been researching positive thinking info and have been working hard to set those ideas into practice.

I will certainly let you in on a small secret; you do not improve by chance you have got to really want to transform the way you think and live!

So I have finally come to recognize that the most important investment decision you can make, is in yourself.

Study exactly how to be happy and healthy. Understand exactly how to love and be loved. See if you do not feel good about yourself no amount of money is going to help you!

Please take the time to care for yourself. Get the appropriate rest, peace, education and learning as well as personal growth. Be thankful for who you are and love yourself, smile and be cheerful, distribute your wonderful pleasure with the entire world!

About the author

You may actually have to add caring for your aging parents or an elderly adult into the picture now and may find being a caregiver creating a lot of worry. How can you stop the Worry?

1. To stop worrying, you will have to really try to be objective when looking at the problem. Another way is to approach the ‘worry’ as if you were advising a friend.
Start by determining if worrying about a particular situation or issue will help.
a. Will worrying make a positive difference?
b. Will worrying make things worse in the meantime?
c. Can you do anything about the situation?
a. Yes – then do it!
b. No – then why are you worrying?

2. People too often worry about things that they have no control over, such as worrying about losing a job. You have no control over it possibly happening beyond making yourself as indispensable as possible, doing your job to the best of your ability and planning that if you did lose your – what would you do? Remember too, losing your job does not necessarily mean it would be a big life disaster. By planning ahead, developing new skills, living within your financial means, saving money and having a plan on what you would do if you did lose your job is enough…no need to worry then. Action vs. worry. Remember, you don’t know what is or isn’t going to happen about the issue, unless you have psychic abilities and can see the future. You also don’t know what terrific option may just be around the corner.

3. Belief in a higher power – if you believe in one, then you need to follow the teaching on worry. Give up your worry to the higher power, perhaps things are supposed to happen for a reason and you have no control over what is to happen.

I ended up in two different jobs where illegal things occurred and even though I desperately needed the job and income, when asked to do something illegal and/or became aware of the illegal activity, I had to decide what to do. I really needed my income as I had bills and was single, but I knew I had to do the ‘right thing’ for me, regardless of what happened. I turned both employers in (and they barely got ‘hurt’). Each time that this has happened, another job, even better than my last, just seemed to appear out of the blue for me. It was just plain freaky! But it inspired faith that many times things do happen for a reason and that there is a larger plan. The years have continued to prove that to me, even when the going was excruciatingly tough. I learned not to worry – someone or something else had that covered.

4. What is the worst that could happen, how would you deal with the issue, create a plan of action and stop the worry.

5. Are you worrying about something that is really important or are you wasting your time and energy? People tend to worry about many small things…re-look at what you are worrying about. Is it worth it? Re-focus on other positive things and Live Life.

6. Gratitude in life is very important. Every day, look at your life and the wonderful things and people in it. Be thankful for what you have, there is, truly someone who has less or experienced worse than you. Be aware of your gratitude everyday and show it. A great time to ’speak’ to yourself and a higher power of your gratitude is at least once a day when you are alone and in a quiet place so you can focus on your inner self and recharge your energy/find your center/relax.

7. Do you worry because you get something out of it? Are you getting positive or negative attention from others because you worry? Is worrying filling some type of need that you have? Explore this and if you answer “yes” to any of the afore mentioned, then figure out why and stop it, get over it and find something more positive to fill the hole or need.

8. Learn to let go of worry. As hard as that sounds, by following steps 1-7, you will find yourself worrying less. If you catch yourself worrying, start your self-talk to yourself and review the steps to find out why you are worrying and what you can and can’t do about it and then stop the worrying.

How to Stop the Worry is actually all in your hands and mind. Worrying is something people tend to do but it isn’t worth it – action is the key, doing the best you can, as well as faith and gratitude. Make sure worrying isn’t a habit you’ve created for yourself and if it is, follow the steps to stop it. Life is way too short to worry about things you have no control over, use your energy and time to live now rather than worry about tomorrow.

About the author

Good Morning, Good Afternoon And Good Evening
Last month I read a fascinating article by my friend and the author of “Go-Givers Sell More,” Bob Burg. Bob wrote about how the people who work at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel greet their guests. Rather than using slang terms like, “How are ya?” or “How ya doin?” the employees greet their guests with, “Good morning,” “Good afternoon” or “Good evening.” In essence, they’re Puttin’ On The Ritz.

The term “Puttin’on the Ritz” has been around for the last 80+ years. It’s original meaning was inspired by the very classy Ritz-Carlton Hotel which first opened in Boston in 1927 and it was promoted by the musical film, “Puttin on the Ritz” by Harry Richmond in 1930. At that time, the term meant to dress up stylishly, which is the positive connotation that term still holds today.

Over the years however, a negative connotation has crept into the meaning of that phrase. Today it is used both as a compliment and an insult depending on where and how it’s used.

On the positive side it means to improve your appearance, not only in the way you dress, but also in the way you carry yourself. It represents being the best you, you can be.

On the negative side it’s used to describe someone who looks foolish by trying too hard to impress others; someone who looks and feels awkward because they’re out of their element.

Honey, You’re Not Going To Believe This
A few days after I read Bob’s article, I received a call from my son Joel telling me that the Ritz-Carlton had offered him a job in Naples, Florida at their flagship property. He went on to tell me that he was planning to attend their orientation class in the next few days.

In the past I would have been shocked to learn that one of the most prestigious hotels in the world would have hired anyone without training or experience in the hospitality industry. But not today, and not when it comes to either of my sons. After watching them both flawlessly apply the laws of likeability with everyone they’ve ever met, I wasn’t surprised that the Ritz hired Joel on the spot. I’ve come to expect nothing less.

What did surprise me however was that he accepted the job. This is not the path I would have expected my free spirited, very likable and musically talented son to follow. It’s not like he ever refused to wear the standard issue tophat, tails and cane when we lunched in the Hamptons, it’s just that I’ve always seen him as a touring musician, a teacher or the owner of a sidewalk cafe in Paris. Accepting a job at the Ritz, that surprised me.

Before we hung up, I asked if he would do me a favor and confirm if what Bob Burg wrote about how employees at the Ritz greet each other was true. Here’s what he discovered.

Formality Counts, But It’s Trumped By Being Genuine
Yes, it was true that the Ritz-Carlton does encourage all of their employees to greet their guests using the more formal greeting. But, in a very Ritz-Carlton fashion, the woman leading the orientation told the new hires that it was more important that they use their genuine greeting, rather than the more formal and approved Ritz-Carlton greeting, at least initially. Her hope was that every employee would soon feel comfortable offering the more formal greeting.

Now Here Comes The Part You Didn’t Expect
After two days of working at the Ritz-Carlton, my son quit his job. And, if you’re like most people including many of his friends and family members, you’re probably thinking, what a fool! Why would anyone leave a job at the Ritz-Carlton after only two days, especially when jobs are so hard to find during this deep recession. Here’s the answer.

According to Joel, there were two reasons he decided to walk away from what could have become a very profitable career choice at the Ritz-Carlton.

First
The first thing he noticed while working at the Ritz was the culture. The Ritz-Carlton caters to a specific group of people and they serve their guests in a very specific way.

After watching how the employees interacted with their guests, Joel decided that this was outside of his comfort zone. He did not want to come to work everyday and feel like he had to be “Puttin’ on the Ritz” to connect with this customers. It wasn’t natural for him. It wasn’t genuine for him. It was against everything he knew to be true about honestly connecting with people.

Second
The second thing he noticed was that the employees who excelled at the Ritz-Carlton were also “Puttin’ on the Ritz” and they were in their element. They were coming to work every day and being the best them they could be, and they were genuine. They were a perfect match for the Ritz-Carlton Hotel.

The Ritz-Carlton vs. Disney
The Ritz offers great customer service, but so does Disney. These are two very different companies catering to two very different guests, and both have built world class reputations for service.

Employees at both companies earn their living by “Puttin’on the Ritz.” And by that I mean dressing to the hilt and carrying themselves in an appropriate manner to meet the expectations of their audience.

But you would have to agree that even though the service is equally spectacular at both companies, their method of delivering that service in a genuine way is completely different.

Can you imagine having bathroom attendants at Disney World or having Dumbo greet you at the desk when you check-in to the Ritz-Carlton Hotel?

The Universe Is Knocking. Are You Listening?
Being genuine is critical when it comes to being liked. If you don’t feel like you can be yourself in a particular place, you’re in the wrong place … even if that place is as spectacular as the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Naples, Florida.

As Polonius said in the First Act of Hamlet, “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

I’ve struggled with this lesson my entire life I still find that I put myself in circumstances where I pretend to be someone I’m not. I don’t like the way I act and I’m sure the people with me don’t either.

Don’t wait for the Universe to use your son or daughter or spouse or friend to remind you how important being genuine is to your happiness. Learn what you can from Joel and move on with your life, there are thousands of other wonderful lessons just waiting for you to discover.

When you’re true to yourself, you will be true to others. When you’re true to others, they will like you, respect you and be true to you in return. Count on it!

About the author

Joannie’s fellow athletes concurred that she was doing the right thing by staying in the competition. They spoke about her inner strength, remarkable courage and determined attitude. Fans around the world appreciated that, with a heavy heart, she was facing the most difficult skates of her life. If, like Joannie Rochette, you are in shock or have been numbed by an unexpected loss, what follows are some tips that may help you begin to turn your upside down world right again:

1. Take control of what is within your reach. Joannie had the drive to win for her mom. She kept herself emotionally insulated, and the fact that she’s a superior athlete helped her succeed. You, too, can keep going, no matter how hard it is. Identify your strengths and make them work for you. And have the wisdom to know the difference between what you can manage and what you can’t.

2. Relish the support that comes from those who care about you. Joannie’s loss resonated for athletes and fans alike. And everyone in the Pacific Coliseum was cheering her on. She said that all the love and support made it easier to give her best. Recognize that family and friends want to see you succeed and will be there to help sustain you. You can also find comfort in your spiritual community, a therapist or a bereavement group. You don’t have to do it all alone – make the decision to ask for help whenever you need it.

3. Face your uncertainty with the best attitude you can muster. Despite the unthinkable, Joannie still maintained a single-minded focus in the skating competition. And now she will be able to grieve her loss. You can’t change what has happened but you can have some control over the way you handle it. Of course, you may be feeling angry, sad or afraid of what is to come. Be aware that your reactions are normal and common. And try to face them directly as you work through your feelings.

4. Make a public commitment to those who want to see you do well. Joannie’s exquisite performances, and the standing ovations, said it all. You can tell others about your intentions and create a strong reality that will motivate you. The initial goal is to uncover the courage to begin. Re-establish routine in your life, both at work and with family. Set new long range goals and short term objectives. Enlist your staying power. Your positive experiences will give you the incentive to continue. Although there may be stumbling blocks along the way, never give up.

5. Listen to others but primarily rely on your own instincts. Joannie believed in what she was doing and concentrated on the competition. She felt that she was where she belonged. That’s what her mother would have wanted her to do. What’s familiar can be calming – have faith in what you’re doing to heal. Realize your hidden internal strength as you trust yourself and look inside for answers. Emotional discomfort can be an opportunity and serve as an invitation to grow.

6. Increase your capacity to be resilient. It must have been extremely difficult for Joannie to maintain her composure and grace under these circumstances. Just as she has, take it one day at a time. Begin to develop strategies to manage stress and release tension. And you can call on your faith or spirituality Step by step, you’ll be able to turn your hopes and dreams into reality.

In both programs, with not much sleep or energy, Joannie hit the ice with determination. She proceeded to skate what turned out to be her personal best during the most trying time of her life. She felt as if her mother was there helping her. Skating through her emotional pain, she won the bronze medal. Joannie was stunning on the podium – responding to the cheers of the crowd, smiling as she wiped away the tears. Hers was a symbol of a poignant victory, and she touched the emotions of people across the globe.

In the news conference, Joannie repeated that her mother was her greatest fan and her death a monumental loss. Just like for her, you may feel that you’re standing alone on the biggest stage you’ve ever been on, carrying the weight of losing your very foundation. But you too can get back on the ice and skate like you never have before.

(C) 2010, Her Mentor Center

About the author

1. What types of negative things are you doing in your life: behaviors, actions and talk with others and towards yourself? Write them down, look to see if there is a pattern of when, where, with whom, around what type of circumstances or situations do they happen? Examples: eat bad food, tell myself I’m dumb, tell my wife she’s overweight, yell at the kids, say bad things about my boss, cut in front of other drivers, don’t spend time on the things I really should, etc.

2. Divide list into two parts: negative behavior that you do to others and negative things you do to yourself. If you are brave enough, have a friend, family member, co-worker or other give you ideas of what they see too about you.

3. Prioritize your items on your two lists from 1 to ?, with 1 being the most important negativity your want to change.

4. Now take the number one item from each list, these are the two negative areas you are going to change in your life.

5. Set a Goal for each that you want to accomplish (goals are broad statements such as, “I will not yell at my wife”).

6. Now you need to write Objectives for your Goals. Objectives are specific in what you want to accomplish and have a timeframe in which you want to accomplish it. Example: “By, (date – give yourself one year or less if you think you can realistically make it), “I will not yell at my wife when in public, 50% of the time”. Make your Objectives real and reasonable. You will need to determine a way to measure how you are succeeding as you progress.

7. You are ready for the creative part – what steps or actions are you going to do to reach your Objective? You need to list the obstacles that are in your way too and the ways you are going to get over/around/underneath them. Don’t limit yourself when you brainstorm on this, you will edit it later. Have someone else brainstorm with you, it can be fun.

8. Now you have to whittle down the steps you are going to implement into some you are going to try immediately. Keep your brainstorming list in case the steps you choose don’t work; something else from your brainstorming list may do it! After you have chosen a few really good steps that you think you can realistically implement, and that will get you to reach your Objective, set the date to implement your plan. Don’t be afraid if some steps don’t work; you just use different ones. Don’t be afraid if you lose motivation, get sidetracked or give-up once in a while, you can get right back on track at any point. Have someone to support and encourage you and someone to keep you focused and on on-track. It isn’t easy but by writing things down, having a plan of action and by reviewing it daily, you will start to see progress.

9. Once you reach your Objective, start on another or increase its success rate. Once you reach a Goal, start another. You can have a few Goals and each can have many Objectives under each. As you continue, you will find it easier and that you accomplish things faster. Your life will change and you will Overcome Negativity in Yourself.

10. Two key components of Overcoming Negativity in Yourself are to surround yourself with positive people and people who do not have the negative habits that you have towards others. People do adapt to the ‘flocks’ of people they hang with, so make sure the ‘flocks’ of people you choose to be around have the values, traits, behaviors and attitude you want and/or have. The other key component is self-talk. We can all be our own worst enemy with what we tell ourselves in our ‘heads’. Stop using negative self-talk and replace it with positive self-talk. Sometimes changing our self-talk is very hard and many people have very good luck with self-talk CDs. Listening to self-talk CDs in the background or while you sleep have proved very effective for many. If you’re interested in self-talk CDs, we have some excellent choices in our product/resource section.

Down with negativity!

About the author

Transgender basically means individuals who do not mentally identify with their birth body gender. I have worked with transgender individuals and thought what they have experienced and endured in their lives, in pursuit of personal happiness like every person, to be very heroic. Many people do not understand, do not want to understand or cannot put themselves in others ’shoes’ of a transgender person. Here is a list of why I think those people who are transgender are quiet and brave.

1. Around age 2-4, awareness that something isn’t ‘right’. Puberty hits and the awareness really kicks in and trying to emotionally deal with this while dealing with typical puberty issues is not easy.

2. Coming to terms emotionally that who you are inside as a gender, is not what your body is. You’ve been raised and treated as your body’s sexual gender but your heart and being is yearning for other things. We all find life difficult but add the journey of self-awareness and acceptance of your body and a mind that doesn’t ‘jive’ with it is incredibly difficult.

3. Enduring unbelievable torments from others and from yourself.

4. Hurting others emotionally through no fault of your own. Friends and relatives having to accept the ‘death’ of one gender and then learn that the ‘new’ gender is really the same person. Some learn to accept and others do not. Many transgender individuals lose their loved ones, friends, jobs, spouses, children and so forth. Just by becoming what they are on the inside to show it on the outside too, it is a risk of such huge proportions and losses. It is a journey that must be made for personal happiness but I have never met a transgender who hadn’t suffered greatly from the journey.

5. The discrimination and harassment experienced is MAJOR (both obvious and not), occurs in every aspect of your life and is a daily occurrence. You can’t get hired for jobs that you are qualified for because you are 6 feet tall, have hands that can hold a basketball, wear heels and a dress. Trying to find a romantic partner who will accept you as you are in all ways is difficult enough as it is, let alone if you are transgender.

Can you imagine living with this, just because you appear a bit different? Are we so shallow that we cannot bother to take the time to ’see’ the real person and not make judgments based on outside appearance? Handsome Ted Bundy had no problem getting victims because people were shallow enough to only look at the outward packaging and glibness. Be a better person yourself and take the time to make your judgments based on real facts and knowledge – go beyond exterior of every person you meet and see the real person.

6. For those who fully embrace their transgender and medically take actions such as taking hormones or having sexual reassignment surgery, it is filled with difficulties. Large financial costs, changing the chemical composition of your body and what the medications do positively and negatively to the body, actual surgery that is all too often having to be done in foreign countries due to cost and ease of process – yet without the safeguards for success and health that the United States (their own country and to which they pay taxes to) offers.

Life is difficult but what I’ve seen of the lives of those who are transgender, it is at least twice more as difficult. I honestly have never met a transgender person who wasn’t a very caring and gentle person too. I think, transgender individuals have experienced so much pain in their own lives (their own personally and those of their loved ones), that they are more giving, sympathetic, understanding of differences and thus the least judgmental of the majority of people I’ve met.

As I am not transgender but have only worked with those who are, I can never fully understand the full scope of the difficulties that a transgender person faces. But I have easily seen and experienced enough to know that I truly feel those who are transgender are extremely brave in the many and large variety of challenges they so quietly face each and every day.

About the author

Her landlord told her that he could no longer afford to provide rent-controlled housing; and the hospital has turned over the emergency room charges for Suzanna’s broken leg to the collection agency. Now Suzanna is afraid to answer her phone. She can’t ask for support from her mother who has just been diagnosed with cancer and called her daughter in tears. What would you do?

If one or more of these crises is affecting your life, it’s time to turn crisis into opportunity. Sometimes circumstances force us to make changes that we would not have made otherwise. It’s not easy, but if you can develop a strategy and work toward purposeful goals, you can emerge stronger and more self-confident. Here are some ideas that might help Susanna.

1. We Need To Cut Your Hours and Your Pay.
Although you’ll be tempted to quit, it’s best not to leave a job until you have another job. Search out other options instead. What opportunities exist for adding hours elsewhere within the company? Stall for time to look for a new job or add a service to help create income for the hours you lost. Perhaps you could use your skills to provide some sort of in-home service, sell personal care or home products, or do phone sales.

If the future with your company looks truly dim take this opportunity to search out a better job. Reach out in the world and tap into your network. Update your resume, take a close look at the job market, post resumes on sites like Monster.com and Craig’s List. Inventory your many talents and publish them for potential employers to see.

Think creatively: One man thought of wearing a tee shirt with a company logo for a fee; he has many customers now. What have you always wanted to do? Free up your mind to think in new directions. Most of all do not panic and shut down. Get over the shock, make a plan, figure out who you really are and what your skills and talents are. Then go for it.

2. I Don’t Love You Anymore.
When someone says this, the other person feels shock. But really, deep inside don’t we all know when things are not going well in a relationship? It is a two-way street. The problem is to identify when it’s really over and figure out what to do next.

A natural first reaction will be shock and denial, then bargaining and sometimes pleading. These are all normal, healthy reactions that usually lead to recovery and then gradually to moving on. Give yourself time to grieve as you would with any major loss. When you feel ready, have a good funeral and step up to a better relationship.

Take this time to get to know who you really are and what you want. Learn how to enjoy your own company? Get to know what makes you special. Rushing out to replace a lost love can lead to more of the same and feelings of desperation that nobody likes to be around. Falling in love with yourself is the surest way to draw love into your life.

3. Your Position Has Been Made Redundant.
During company mergers, people often learn that someone else is already doing, or will soon be doing, their job. Downsizing is all too common and a painful rite in corporate life today. Just remember, in life, when one door closes, another one opens.

To find that new door, focus on your unique abilities and gifts. Think deeply about the challenges your company and your supervisor are facing and come up with novel solutions. Redefine your job description and expand it. Make yourself invaluable, strive for good feedback and look for ways to reach the eyes and ears of the decision makers. If there is something that you always wanted to do, that you thought was a natural fit and should be in your job description, now is the time to do it. Then think it through. In your work environment would it be better to propose it to your supervisor before starting? Or would it be better to start incorporating it into your job, then propose it at a decisive moment that will make your contribution stand out?

Stay cheerful and friendly. If you make yourself positively useful and visible, you may be able to redefine yourself as a leader and step into another job. Either way, the exercise will get you thinking about your full range of skills and abilities that can help you move forward beyond an apparent dead-end.

4.You Can’t Live Here Any More.
If the landlord has decided to sell a house you are renting, ask if you can negotiate a deal to buy it. If it is beyond your means, could you share the purchase price with another? If the landlord already has a buyer in mind, accept the disappointment and begin to search for something else. Take this opportunity to improve your living arrangements and find what you have always wanted.

If you’re losing your house due to foreclosure, have you investigated every option, communicated early and often with your mortgage company, and checked out every possible aid program? If it’s unavoidable you must accept it and move on, taking a long look at your financial management style. Be honest with yourself about how you got into this situation, and develop a plan for rebuilding your future.

Let your dreams take flight. Would you like to live in the country? In a loft? In another part of the country? Share a house with another? Ask for new opportunities and they will appear. It is a time for positive change and if you see it as something good, it will be so.

5. Your Insurance Won’t Cover This Procedure.
Assuming this is a necessary procedure, talk openly with your healthcare provider about your financial situation. You might be able to negotiate the price and establish a schedule for paying out the fees. Fees received over time are better than nothing and you may find a willing doctor. Call around among other providers. Look at out-of-network providers if your insurance won’t pay anyway. Sometimes independent practitioners who do not take insurance have lower billing rates. Your county health department can tell you if there is a federally subsidized clinic in your town.

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Today, we don’t expect our retirement stocks and portfolios to lose but to always gain. We don’t usually have a plan A, B, C or do all of them at the same time. Businesses expect to always make a profit and don’t ‘put away from a rainy day’ when the sales or down. Instead they file bankruptcy and put people out of work.

People expect that insurances, law suit judgments or the government will GIVE them suitable recompense for anything that affects them negatively financially or ‘badly’. Spill a hot cup of coffee and get paid millions through a law suit. How ridiculous is that. You get HOT anything and you know that if YOU spill it, you will feel pain and may get burned – its call LIFE. LIFE HAPPENS.

If you don’t work, you can get the government to give you some money. If you don’t save for retirement, you expect the government will take care of you. So why save any money, spend and enjoy because someone else will pay to support you when you don’t have any more.

Life is about risk. America is about risk. The risk to strive for what you want and to hope that your work will pay off. America is where people want to immigrate to because the risk of getting here and starting a life here is better than remaining in their own countries. When did Americans become complacent in thinking they are owed success, owed money, owed to live a life without risk?

We are now seeing the results caused by American whining and fear of risk. I also expect worse is to come.

How do we get the American spirit back? How to we get our leaders to understand you can’t ‘play’ war without the determination and actions needed to win and that deaths will occur either way but at least make them deaths with a high value. Executives getting huge amounts of my tax dollars for bonuses. There is no one on this Earth that is worth earning what many top executives are earning.

Meanwhile, we have middle class Americans shrinking by the second, becoming unemployed, losing hope and watching long terms non-workers live off of the government benefit programs. Yet those middle class Americans who are now out of work who try to get assistance, it is too little, or don’t qualify because they have some assets from all the years of hard work they’ve done. How many middle class Americans have just walked away from their very homes, turning the keys into the bank and having to start from square one again because no one is doing anything about it? What about a few big businesses, such as General Electric now owning TV’s CBS and many other companies and thus is able to lobby and affectively manipulate politics to benefit their own financial bottom line but at the expense of anyone that gets in their way (my personal view).

The time has come for Americans to have a revolution – bigger than the tea parties of the last year. It is time for Americans for find their common sense again, to stop whining, to realize that only through taking risk can greater gains be make possible and that risk also means more freedom. A Revolution means that all of us have to participate in some way and as much as we can in it too. You cannot sit on the sidelines and cheer one side while making sure you’ll be fine if the other side wins. One that is just plain un-American, it won’t get you very far and if that is how you feel, than you should think about moving to a different country.

Don’t re-elect anyone who is currently in office. Don’t elect anyone who is rich or who is no in touch with ‘we the people’. Elect officials who have read, understand and believe in the American Constitution – that included the documents ‘intentions’. Behave in a manner that doesn’t enable you, your family, friends or others in whining, not taking risks, in being dependent minded and not using good o’le common sense. Gather in groups and figure out plans of actions for your area and how it can fit with other larger groups and nationally.

Americans have been acting like sheep, whining and trying to create a risk free world – it is time to end that and bring common sense and American ‘we the people’ back into the forefront of how we live. It is time for a ‘wake-up call’, a ‘tune-up’, a re-birth of Americanism and pride and can do-ism. America is about ‘we’, not ‘the few’ and that means change must happen.

I challenge each of you to begin creating your own change, to participate in groups and to read the American Constitution. Actions speak louder than words and together, ‘we the people’ can create change.

About the author

Habit:

Making what we do or how we act a habit is crucial for success and thought it is difficult, it is entirely possible to do at any age.

When moving around your job or your home, never go empty handed and try to handle things only once. Example: Mail comes, sort and throw or write check and put in envelop to mail, receipts go in filing system and magazines are put in the readers chair to read that night or even read immediately. Result: no pile-up of mail, bills paid and on time, filing done and not piled, etc. Also leaves your home neater and your mind ‘neater’ too.

Structure your day and commit to it. You are in charge of how much time you spend on different activities. Some ideas on how to save time include: kids are only allowed a certain amount of sports/activities to participate in, arrange more car pooling, pick-up the groceries on the way home instead of making a whole new trip to the store on the weekend. Group your travel activities. Have some frozen fast prep meals on hand. Dishes go into the dishwasher right after use or are hand washed immediately after. Have scheduled times for activities – Thursday is family night; after 8 PM is don’t bother Mom time, etc.

Multi-tasking:

Maximize your time by doing two or more things at once and find extra free time fast. Recyclables go immediately into the appropriate areas after use, while fixing dinner – put in a load of laundry and if the oven isn’t in use, also put in a brownie or cake to bake. While dinner is cooking, clean out the frig or wipe the interior shelves down. When you shower, use a skin moisturizer that you put right on in the shower (no water on) and then towel dry – no lost time putting on creams later and which you may forget. When you get your mail, put your out-going mail in the box. While driving, listen to your favorite audio book. Ready your magazines during commercial breaks and then dispose of. Use a DVR and skip commercials really saves time you can see. I’ll tape a show, even if I am there watching TV (a previously taped show) and watch it later because I’ll save 20 min of commercials in an hour TV show! Have everyone put their dirty clothes in the washing machine each night and the next night, start it while you get dinner.

My-Time:

You need to build in time each day for gratitude and some quiet time for you. I used to also take a ’smoking’ break (I don’t smoke) and go outside for 5 minutes a couple times a day. It makes a big difference and you can do this at home to. Everyone in the family needs some time every day to be quiet and that seems too non-typical for people now and it does impact your mental and physical health.

Other ways:

Don’t stop at corner stores for sodas and snacks; bring a reusable container from home with a drink in it. You can save a lot of money and time by eliminating the fast food and corner store runs – plus you’ll be much healthier too. Everything in your home and office should have its own place where it belongs. Always put things back where they belong and you’ll prevent clutter that you have to spend time putting away later and you’ll be able to find what you want, when you want it. Tools – draw the shape on the peg board and even little ones know where each tool belongs. Organize every draw, closet and cupboard – it will take time, you will have to sort through what to keep, give away or sell. First time around, do the best you can, second time, be tougher. It took me two years to whittle things down through the entire house and I love it.

Putting away items as used, paring down what you have and not buying unless you really need it, structuring your time and saying ‘no’ to things will gradually start simplifying your life and making it more organized and manageable. I’ve found the process to be refreshing, not missing anything and that making it a habit was much easier than anticipated. Also make sure you don’t buy anything unless you really feel you need it and you’ve waited at least 3-7 days after to get it and also think in terms of the ‘wow’ factor. Do you feel that the price you’ll pay in money, time, use and storage is giving you a BIG ‘WOW’ factor? If not, then don’t do it.

Simplifying your life is wonderful and it doesn’t mean doing without. It means refocusing on things that are more important to you and allows you to live a fuller and richer life.

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